He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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