Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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