why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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