highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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