So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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