He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize