I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize