We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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