I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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