Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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