She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think i got beer on your cat.
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