Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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