You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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