I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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