i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize