why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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