i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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