i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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