He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
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i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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