Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Terrible idea I love it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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