Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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