do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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