can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There r osticjed everywhere
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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