College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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