Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize