Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
nutella sex= disaster
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize