I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize