Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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