# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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