I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize