My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize