3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize