apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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