he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize