it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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