actually, I'm a sock model
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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