just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize