exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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