i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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