did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
try to milk me bitch
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize