Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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