saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize