I got chris browned last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
