This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
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I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
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How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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