I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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