Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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