Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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