you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
