My friends, they love my intelligence
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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