I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize