I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize